Annifest Destiny


 


It is a good time to be an urban forester. 

When Ann’s years of service plus age equaled the magic “80 and out” number, the Golden Handcuffs were released from the Missouri Department of Conservation. We had a window of opportunity: No one needs us here. My parents have passed, Ann’s are strong and independent. Our boys are not yet married, and grandchildren should be several years away, so we’re kind of on our own. Our dog is getting old, but she’s still up for some adventures. So off we go. 

But to where? We initially thought of leaving the country, but quickly learned that no other country wants us. A few countries that are coming up a little shy on people in certain regions are welcoming immigrants, but they want young ones, with a typical age cap somewhere in the 30s. France will take you if you’re a lawyer. Italy will welcome you if you spend several hundred thousand dollars on a house in a place no one wants to live. A lot of countries let you hang out, so long as you leave occasionally, but they won’t let you work there. Ann and I are still about 20 years from Social Security, so we need more than cheap living; we need an income unless we are living for free. 

We started considering where might be a fun place to move to in the good old US of A. There was a really good job in Key West. When she applied, I recognized that my opportunity there would be limited, rent is outrageous and living there and working anywhere else would be next to impossible with that one little, busy highway leading in and out. But I checked the Federal job board, and found they wanted new TSA agents, and wanted them bad. The salary range started at $68,000, and they were offering a $15,000 relocation bonus. 

I put in an application, and they sent me to a testing center here in Columbia. It was high security – nothing in the pockets, not even car keys or a wallet. They wanded you when you went in. Once inside, you put on headphones and take a series of tests. Some were like IQ tests; others were speed and memory tests involving some hand-eye coordination. I left feeling pretty good about them. Within a day, they offered me a job. 

But then Ann found out the urban forester job she was going for had already been filled. They had hired someone with little experience. They offered to Ann that she could come on half-time, but she wasn’t really interested in being supervised by someone who is green, and Key West rent warranted more than half-time work, so she said no, and in turn I said no to the TSA. 

So, Ann started applying to other fun places. She was one of a couple of final candidates to be the forester for Central Park in New York City. She was one of three in Ft. Collins, CO, and received two job offerings in the state of Washington before deciding to accept the newly created position of Urban Forester for Pierce County, the one surrounding Tacoma. It’s just south of King County (which includes Seattle) and just north of Thurston County, which includes Olympia. We were on our way. 




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